harbinger: HistoRy has a WaY of rEpEating itself

Thursday, January 25, 2007
「 what behind my shadow. 2:47 PM 」
HistoRy has a WaY of rEpEating itself
I guess the fates are laughing at me. And the same things have a habit of repeating itself again, albeit in different circumstances. In my case, it is being a screw-up during the critical period. I am talking about my last years in primary and seconday school. My PSLE and 'O' levels are such a disgrace because I totally slack during the time. I could have produced excellent results if not for my laziness. However when I step into poly, I decided to set goals to myself, goals that I would uphold. I became gradually sucessful whereby my grades are corncerned. In fact it kept improving as the course that wasn't really my first choice has become the course that ultimately I have learnt to grow fond of. However this internship is going to ruin everything that I have worked hard for. After the computation of the supervisor assesment is done by my LO, i would end up with a B or C. Imagine a GPO of merely 3.0 or 2.0. How low can I sink, right? Even the previous intern batch from the same department all got A’s. Today, I was delirious with disappointment that to my utter shame I've cried in front of some people. I just have a total breakdown. I couldn't believe it at first because my supervisor initially told me he's gonna give me an A. But obviously he is just lying through his teeth. Not only that, my hopes of entering into a university (something that none of my family members have done before) is growing feeble. I wonder is the grade given to me the result of being impolite to him that one time. However that is nothing much that I can do now that can salvage anything back. I have to accept this and move on with my life. From this day onwards, I promised to myself to go to the top. And once I am there, I would treat the people under my care as fairly as possible and not to have my jugement clouded with petty things. I am now reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenager especially the part about focusing on the part of circle of control and leaving off the circle with no control Signing off....
*Please take note that this happen one week earlier. I’m now nearing the end of my internship*