harbinger: November 2005

Sunday, November 20, 2005
「 what behind my shadow. 3:47 PM 」
eXTreme Life of a nERdie

U noe wat im going to pour out might seem VerY trivial to many people. I mean im considered one of those nerds u often heard about. My grades are good but somehow my dress code juz seen sloppy on an everyday basis. It's not that as if i dont know how to dress up but dressing up to school(i mean polytechnic) jus seem so cumbersome. BUt right now it's the least of my worries. It is the expectations rather high expectations from my lecturers and fellow classmates that has caused very deep worries for me especially the modules that im now taking in this semester. It is so bloody tough. I cant believe my classmates didnt see it as a big deal. I mean my programming basics wasnt realy good and we are delving further into programming. Yuckz! my thoughts exactly. how am i going to get an A for this module? and how about the other modules. They arent really that easy either. Everyone and i really mean everyone (that includes my family 2) thinks that i can really put it off. But i really doubt so. I think history is kinda of repeating by itself. I still remember my PSLE and O'Levels results. Somehow when i took very biG and ImPoRTANt exams i became so lazy and consequently my results suffer too. It is like as the pressure builds up as well as the surrounding expectations too, i will flip out. Yup, datz me. But stil idiots out there stil thinks i can manage. Okay that's it. Im getting to revved up.
Signing off
Liyana-


Saturday, November 05, 2005
「 what behind my shadow. 1:50 AM 」
i'm cRusHed...

It's been years since my last entry. Many things has occured. But my concern now is the development of my feelings these few months. I'm infatuated with this guy. Oh yes, you think i would have known better than that. Now i know the you why those normally intelligent people out there can be such idiots when they are in love. I'm afraid to describe more about my latest ONE that has tugged my heart. I hope i am able to conceal well the posture of my countenance because too many people has regarded me as an 'ice princess'. You could say i'm trying to live up to their expectation too. Whatever- by the way, he never noticed me anyway which make it kinda easy to hide my real feelings away from him. Okay im done for now.
Roger n Out-